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After a heavy Thanksgiving meal, the night watchman went to work. In the morning, he told his boss he had dreamed that a saboteur planted a bomb in the factory and that he felt it was a warning. The boss promptly fired him.





Why?





Answer:

The watchman had been sleeping on the job. Otherwise, he would not have been dreaming.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you and leaves. What happened?











Answer:

The man had the hiccups and wanted a glass of water to help get rid of them. The bartender could hear the hiccups when the man spoke, so he brought the gun out to scare the hiccups away. It worked and the man thanked him and left, no longer needing the glass of water.

Two bars of iron lie on a table. They look identical, but one of them is magnetized [with a pole at each end], and the other is not. How can you discover which bar is magnetized if you are only allowed to shift them on the table, without raising them and without the help of any other object or instrument?










Answer:

Take either bar and push one end against the middle of the other bar, forming a T. If the magnetized bar is the top of the T, there is no pull on the other bar.

If we tie a light oxygen tank to a bird so that it can breathe on the moon, would the bird fly faster, slower, or the same speed as it does on earth?

(Remember that there is less gravity on the moon.)










Answer:

A bird cannot fly on the moon because there is no air to suspend it.

There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall.

A bear walks by one of the windows.

What colour is the bear?

Answer:

White

If all the walls face south, the house is at the north pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

You are travelling down a road to a village. You reach a fork in the road and find a pair of identical twin brothers standing there. One of the brothers always tells the truth and the other always lies.

If you are allowed to ask only one question to one of the brothers to find which is the correct road to the village, what is your question ?

Answer:

Point to one of the roads in the fork and ask the following question to one of the brothers.

"If I ask your brother if this is the correct road to the village will he say yes or no?"

If he answers is "no" then it is the correct way to the village.

Think about it -

If the brother you are speaking to is the one who always lies, then he will say "no" as he knows that his brother who speaks the truth would anwser "yes". If the brother you are speaking to is the one who speaks the truth, he will say "no" as he knows that his brother will lie about it being the correct road. Either way an answer "no" tells you it is actually the right road. Similarly if you are pointing to the wrong road you will get the answer "yes".

Every Thing I swallon iz Digested in Full
Bt
If I Drink Water I’ll Die Soon.




Guess Wht is It ?









Answer:

Fire

I + opp of W + starting of ICE +
twice of the letter befpor T +3/4th to x +
15th letter + 1/2 of O.













Answer:

I Miss U

1. When you take a long time, you’re slow; When your boss takes a long time, he or she’s thorough.
2. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy; When your boss doesn’t do it, he or she’s too busy.
3. When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he or she’s only human.
4. When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.
5. When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed. When your boss does it, he or she is being firm.
6. When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he or she is being original.
7. When you please your boss, you’re apple polishing. When your boss pleases his boss, he or she is being co-operative.
8. When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he or she is on business.
9. When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick. When your boss is a day off sick, he or she must be very ill.
10. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he or she is overworked.

Munna Bhi MCSE
Kal MSN Ho Na Ho
Love in mIRC
Tere Nick
ID Mil Gaya
Chat To Kero
Ek Programmer Thi
Yeh Hack Horaha Hai
Hum Pyar PC Se Kar Baithe
Network Ke Us Paar
Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
Aao Chat Kare
C++ Wale Job Le Jayenge
Programmer No.1
Mera Naam Developer
Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein
Do Processor, Baarah Terminal
Tera Code Chal Gaya
Har Din Jo Mail Karega
Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehatha Hai
Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..!
Client Ek Numbari, C ++Programmer Dus Numbari
Login Karo Sajana
Naukar PC Ka
1942 — A Bug Story
Kaho Na Virus Hai
Crash Se Crash Tak
Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
Shaheed Hacker Singh
Password De Ke Dekho
Terminal Apna , Login Parayi
Mr. Network Lal
Terminal Sajaake Rakhna
Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani
Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha
Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi
Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i’m playin cards n i’m missin the joker!!
2. Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all.
3. The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
4. i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window… I look down & den… i lauf again.
5. What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
   Magnets have a positive side!
6. I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
7. Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well Because you r not messageing me… well
8. I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”, I love “u”.
   Hey! Don’t get excited, I love other alphabets too…v, w, x, y, z !
9. Wat a married man says after years of marriage:-
   My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding,
   she doesn’t Trust me & I dont Understand her.
10. Can u pronounce gud english:read aloud woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
    Test results:u r gug dog.now stop barking.
11. Unlike others your brain is a master piece, It is divided in 2 parts - left & right. In left nothing is right, in right nothing is left
12. If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing,
    I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!…
13. I’d luv 2 take u 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear - “pay the bill “!

The contest for “Who wants to be a millionaire” was going on and the last question was:

“which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest?”
A- Robin
B- Sparrow
C- Cuckoo
D- Thrush

The contestant (Barbara) decides to phone a friend (Maggie).
(ringing)
Maggie (a blond): “Hello…”
Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Millionaire.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.”
Barbara repeats the question.
Maggie: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..It’s a Cuckoo.”
Barbara: “You think?”
Maggie: “I’m sure.”
Barbara: ” Thanks Maggie.” (hangs up)
Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo”
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Yes.”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks:
“Tell me Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: “Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.”